So even though my initial ideas have taken a massive kick to the head,my motivation STILL isn't dwindling. (A big middle finger to anyone that ever says I don't have any staying-power!!!!). Technology, it would seem, ISN'T the way forward... or maybe I'm just looking in the wrong places?
Seedy websites for pervy middle aged men really doesn't do it for me... Perhaps I should try another website? SURELY they can't ALL be that bad- can they? I am just a little concerned that I will end up seeing more than I had bargained for! I mean, don't get me wrong... I AM celibate,but I think I would prefer to get my kicks in the .... Erm ...traditional way? I mean, whatever happened to boy meets girl (or boy),boy kisses girl (or boy), boy dates girl (or boy), girl (or boy) feels the way they deserve? This just all seems a bit "wham, bam, thank you ma'am!" - Bish, bash bosh, I'll call you (but probably not!)
NO THANK YOU!!!!
However, I'll give good old technology another shot - just ONE more. I'm sure that the internet has FAAAARRR more to offer. I mean, people meet their soulmates all the time via being online, don't they?! I would hazard a guess that some of you are wondering why I feel the need to have found 'Mr. Right' anyway. Let me explain just a little bit...
If you have read all of my posts then you will understand that I am this HUGE romantic that wants to be wanted I guess. But THAT isn't really the point.
See the point is that my life (since Rob, anyway) is dominated by my insecurities. I think that they literally dictate who I speak to and how I behave when I am around them. I honestly feel unattractive and uninteresting and my self confidence is at a critical low. So maybe it's not such a case of me needing to find a soulmate, but to feel a little... wanted?
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ReplyDeleteI know what it feels like to be ruled by insecurity. to not feel wanted...and to feel uninteresting like you have nothing to offer that special somone. I dont have some quick fix to make you feel more confident, but the first step I think is to get rid of the idea that you need someone to validate you as a person. I know this sounds harsh, I still long for that someone who's gonna hold me and tell me everything is ok, but Im trying to develop as a person on my own, learn to accept myself and learn to unleash my personality. I feel like when I am content with myself, able to be happy on my own, thats when im ready to find someone. It seems counterintuitive but most things that are true are.
ReplyDeleteI wrote a poem that sums up alot of what im trying to say...hope you'll read it, its on my blog angstandagony.blogspot.com
Its called Be True to You